The Old Lady Named Grandma

This is the last time you are seeing me, She said.

Her health was bad, she was at her eighties. She was unable to walk but she insisted to see me leaving till I am gone, like she always did. I told her that she should be there for me. I knew she always wanted to be there with us. But we both knew, this actually could be the last time we are seeing each other. For the first time I saw her tears rolling down on her cheeks and touching her smiling lips, while saying me goodbye. Then I came to Bangalore in search of a job. After few days I got the news of her demise.

My Grandma was a self sufficient and a very strong lady. As my Grandpa died in a very young age, so she had to look after seven kids all alone with little hand from her eldest son, who is my father. With many struggles and hurdles in her life, she lead a very successful life. All her seven children are doing great now a days. This could be possible only because of her love, her mental strength, and her principles.

When I was a little kid, my parents once had to go to Madras (now Chennai) for a month. I was sent to my Grandma's place in Goalpara for that period. From then, I could sense the warmth of her love for me. As if her whole world was revolving around me. In the morning she would wake me up and brush my teeth and feed me my favorite breakfast. She would take me to the nearby market, holding my hand with pride. After we were done with our shopping she would take me to the restaurant and order for "Raso Golla" and "Nimki" which were my favorites. In the afternoon, she would give me the milk ice cubes from the fridge that she dutifully made each day I was there in Goalpara with her. In the evening, she would tell me the stories of "Ramayana", "Mahabharata" and "Gopal Bhar". Later in the night, I would sit besides her while she prepares our dinner. For the entire month we enjoyed this same schedule together and then my parents came back and it was time for me to say her 'bye'. She came to the street and waved at me till I was gone. She was a strong lady and I never saw her crying. But, her eyes were speaking a lot.

I often visited her in Goalpara during my childhood. I used to enjoy every moment of my stay and while coming back she would give me some money for chocolates and kiss me. When we leave she would keep waving at me as far as she could see me. She never cried, but her eyes spoke a lot.

We all were growing gradually; time did fly. I was doing my graduation. With the newly found happening life, I kept on forgetting her. She was gradually becoming ill. She had to come to Guwahati in my Uncle's place for frequent treatment. Every time I visited her she would want me to be beside her so that she can share her feelings. She would want my assurance for her wellness. She was not able to take me to the market, she couldn't make ice cubes for me. But, her love for me was still the same. The strong lady was sick and her grandson was hardly there for her.

When I completed my post grad, by that time she was too sick and was willing to move to her eldest son's place for her last days. I too came back home and was searching for job. My priorities in life had changed. I was desperate to get a good job. She was equally upset for my job. And finally I decided to come to Bangalore in search of one. We both knew we'll not see each other again. She wanted to give me the last goodbye. She couldn't raise her hand to wave at me. But this time I saw her crying. Job was my priority and I left her for ever and she kept looking at me till I was gone.

I miss you Grandma, I have grown old now but I still need your love. I want to sit beside you when you cook. I want those ice cubes that you used to make for me. I want you to hold my hand again.

Love you always.