My College Days - 01: First Day In Hostel

When the bus started moving, I saw him crying for the first time in 17 years. My heart was already broken and now I had to allow my tears to roll down. My father was going back home and I was all alone in this crowd. We didn't have mobile phones those days, else I could have called my dad and could tell him how much I missed him. Or may be I wouldn't have said that to him but could've talked to him anyways. In this journey, I got to know my father a little more. The day before we started, he took me to the most expensive shop in the town to get me a pair of shirt-pants of my choice. I never had this luxury before. During the last couple of days he kept asking me if I wanted anything else. It felt like, if I had asked for the Moon he would have tried to bring it down for me. But, that assurance was my gift. And I was complacent.

I was wondering where to go? I was allotted a room in my hostel but I didn't want to go back there. My friends at home told me about ragging and I knew what to expect from those boys who treated my father so well as if he was their own father. They told me that there is one more fresher who has come to the hostel the previous day. It gave me a sense of relief. Someone has rightly said that when your pain is unbearable, think of someone who is going through the same suffering. As humans we will always be pacified by the miseries of others.

I thought to go back to hostel and meet this guy who was just like me, all alone. In the campus everyone knew each other but us. That makes us brothers. We humans are always in search of people who share a common hate. However, we might not love the one who shares a common love with us. I assumed, we both hated this new campus, we both hated these boys who knew each other so well and we hated to be distant from our homes.So, that makes us brothers.

I came back to my room and I was thinking whether to ask someone about this other guy who was just like me, all alone. Just then someone entered my room without knocking. I thought it was rude. But then I knew I was in hostel. Things were about to change. I remember my Mother telling it often that I'll learn my lessons at hostel; especially when I used to refuse eating anything for I thought they were not cooked well. However, on the day when we were leaving she didn't say anything like that. Though I didn't eat all the stuff she prepared. So, this bare bodied guy who wrapped a towel around his waist holding a plastic mug in one hand and a cigarette in the other entered my room to teach me a lesson, I thought. He ordered me to introduce myself to him. As I was about to start he interrupted me and then started calling me names for not standing up when he entered. I was emotionally vulnerable. It's not even half an hour that my father left me in this strange place. I couldn't stop my tears for the second time in a day. He shouted again: "don't cry like a child. Else I'll slap you and knock your teeth out!". On this I assembled myself. He called me names again and slammed the door and left.

I actually learnt something. I learnt that I am no more a child in front of the world outside my home. Now I can't outburst with my emotions. I have to learn hiding them. I have learnt that If I ever cry, World might slap me and knock my teeth out.

I also learnt to stand up and pretend respect for a half-naked, rude guy with  no etiquette and who smoked. I had to struggle against the gravitational pull of my ego. But I stood up to pretend respect for him. World is filled with people who live to receive such respect. They need your little help to make themselves feel bigger as they are all half-naked and feel very low about themselves.

Lastly, I learnt a long list of creative adjectives that can be used when one is angry.

He left and I kept thinking: Mum was right. Hostel is very good at teaching lessons.

I was about to sit again and then a guy called my name from outside the door. I opened the door and saw another guy wearing a white full-shirt which was tucked into his black pants well complimented by a pair of shiny leather shoes. He saw me and gave a friendly smile.

Are you Ratul? he asked.

Yes, I am. And you? May I know who you are? I replied.

I am Utpal from first year. I came yesterday. I was looking for you. Where were you? he asked again.

I felt sense of relief. I thought, finally I have someone to talk to in this unknown place. He is the other guy like me. We both hate this place and the people around. We can talk about them. We can talk about how much we hate being far from home, and how much we hate the half naked guy who called me names and the place where people can knock our teeth out if we cry. I'll listen when he talks ill for everything which I hate and he'll listen to me for i'll talk ill about everything that he hates. We both will become best of friends and will start talking about what we love? But we'll mind that we do not fall in love for the same girl. Friends can share common hate.

Hi Utpal, so glad to meet you man! I was also thinking to find you. How do you like the place? I asked.
(I was actually asking, do you hate this place as much as I do?)

He laughed and asked back, how about you? I saw the senior guy entered in your room. I was waiting for him to come out. I also met him yesterday.

Well, in that case you already know how good I feel. I said. We had a good laugh.

And we talked a lot. I told him that I'll take good care of the senior guy if I meet him in my home town. He too assured me the same. The pillars of friendship were getting established.

That day ended and nothing much happened after that.

While I was lying on bed. I again thought of the loved ones at home.
Knowing that there is a place for me to go back if I ever feel like crying is the assurance that will keep me going, I thought. I prayed for their well being and tried to sleep.

That is how the journey of my college life started. A journey that was meant to teach me lessons. Lessons that i'll try to jot down in my blog.

to be continued...