My College Days - 03: Half Kneel Down & The Iconic Singer

The more I focused on my steps, the more I could walk. I was able to overcome my fear by stepping towards it. The new found courage in me was made of my fear and the steps which I took forward.

WAIT, YOU MORONS! Where are you going? As expected, we were stopped by a senior.

To our room, Sir! Nuraz replied looking at his eyes.

Not any more Morons! Follow me!

His order reminded me of the famous lines from the poem where Alfred Tennyson described how a brigade of 600 soldiers followed their commander to the "valley of death", without questioning or getting discouraged  even when they realized that their Commander was making a terrible mistake.

Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die..

We followed our Commander.

Morons! Come Inside! Meet him, he's my senior and he's super senior to you. Bow down in respect! He demanded.

We bowed in his respect. I noticed that our super senior was wearing two different slippers on his two feet. He was sitting on his bed under which a bunch of "Debonair" magazines were kept. The wall attached to the bed had some mysterious patches. The adjacent wall was clean though. I also noticed some empty beer bottles kept at the corner. Those bottles didn't look good there and they were all empty. I wondered why he didn't dispose them. When I bowed down, I could see a lot more, even the things which were hidden under his bed.

What are you looking at, you whore? It's more than you can count. But, it's only 10% of the total bottles I have had this year.

Hearing this, our commander's eyes were filled with pride for the man who had achieved so much and yet remained so humble to him. He added, our Sir has broken all the previous records and we are still counting.

He was talking about the beer bottles. He saw me looking at them. 50 was only 10% of the total. That means, 'x' is equal to 500, I calculated in my mind. Those bottles were not just empty, they were standing there to narrate another story of transition. All of them were fresher when they came here and they gradually became seniors and the children in them were left at home. They became men.

Introduce yourselves, morons! Commander ordered.

We told our names and addresses and hobbies. We all said the same things but it carried different meanings. Utpal meant he was modest and he was a good listener. Nuraz meant he was bold, confident and he already knew this world better than rest of us. Batuk meant he was a smooth speaker, lively and motivating.

I didn't want to mean that I was worried. But that's what they understood. A child in me was worried of the darkness.

They laughed at my fear. They tried insulting me for I was a child. Commander was not merciful. He punished me with a tight slap. I didn't cry this time. I thought about what Plato had to say on fear:

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

I forgave myself.

Super-senior applauded our commander for what he did. He then asked us if we can sing?

Batuk & Nuraz were quick to raise their hands. Utpal knew that he can't sing and I was in no mood for singing after I received that slap.

Commander ordered both of us to do "Half Kneel Down". This means, we had to stand on our toes and bend our knees in right angle and raise our hands up.  It was difficult to balance, and was stressful. Singing was much easier, I thought.

Commander asked Batuk to sing any song.

Batuk said, 'Would you know my name'
Then he suddenly shouted: 'If I saw you in heaven?'

I was not able to understand what he meant by that.

What? What are you saying moron? Commander asked.

Batuk told again, 'Would it be the same'
and shouted : 'If I saw you in heaven?'

He closed his eyes and said few more sentences -
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?

He was trying to modulate his voice while speaking. He was out of breath at times. While shouting he used his nostrils to get the high pitch. It sounded as if someone is trying to tune the radio in a low frequency zone. The noise was quite disturbing.

Stop it! Stop it! I can't take it! Super senior shouted.
Commander slapped him for all the torture.

Batuk later revealed that it was a song called "Tears In Heaven" which he was trying to sing. Otherwise, It was hard to believe that there could be a song, so punishing. For a moment, I felt that "half kneel down" was relaxing after he stopped singing. Either the song was a piece of shit or he didn't know how horrible he sings, I thought.

Batuk also had to do half-kneel-down with us.

Now Nuraz cleared his throat. And started singing.
It was a beautiful song. Nuraz was a very good singer. More so because he sang from heart.
Seniors were pleased with his singing and told him to continue while doing 'half kneel down'. Nuraz too had to join us. The decision was unfair. But, it made us happy. By now our legs were shaking. We were hardly able to bear the pain. However, it was hard for us to resist laugh. His singing gradually got deteriorated. Our legs were becoming numb. But thinking of Nuraz, we started giggling.

I recalled a story. There was a king who punished all his guests for bringing fruits as presents on his birthday. King ordered his men to insert the fruits into the respective guest's arses who brought them. The one who brought Apple, cried a lot with pain. The one with Plums also cried. Everyone cried with pain except one person who brought a "Papaya". Kings men pushed the papaya hard inside him. The more they pushed, the more he laughed. They were surprised, and asked how he was able to laugh with so much of pain. On this he replied: the man next to me has brought a Jackfruit. Every-time you pushed, I couldn't resist my laughter thinking of him.

Nuraz gave up singing and then finally cried: Please Sir, I can't do this anymore. And he fell down on his knees. We all fell down after that.

Honeymoon is over guys, tomorrow others will join you and we'll start the trip to hell. Commander dismissed the meeting.

We were not able to stand for a while. The legs were numb. But we laughed till our stomachs hurt. Batuk later told us that seniors do not understand good music. He still believed that his song was good and wanted a confirmation from Nuraz.

I hope you guys have enjoyed my song,

I saw the vein popped up on Nuraz's forehead. He managed to say 'Yes' and left the room before Batuk offered to sing another song.

to be continued...